Let’s Be In “It” Together – To Get Out of “It”
I walked by my closet this morning and, for the umpteenth time, thought to myself – “Lynnelle, what the fuck?! What.The.Fuck is wrong with you!? Can you really be this much of a lazy slob??!”
Barb’s got nothing on me in the wallowing in muck space. She’s probably got nothing on any of us. We’re all in muck-of-our-own-making sometimes. How about we use the acronym, MoooM? I’m in MoooM often enough. MoooM. If you’ve got something better send it to me.
Work in Progress
So, back to the closet. Last fall I spent an inordinate amount of time emptying out EVERY hanging item, picking things up off the floor and making sure everything had a place. Each hanging item was considered for fit, color, and reality – Reality, as in:
- Will I really wear that again,
- Does this really fit my life now, and
- Does this really complement my coloring and body shape?
I’ll admit, more things made it back into the closet than should have. But! I did reduce my wardrobe significantly. (If you missed the arduous project you can read this, this or this.) The minimal wardrobe/clean closet syndrome lasted a while. But, In addition to the capsule wardrobe project, I also made a New Year’s resolution (bad idea) to make 2018 a non-shopping year. Not “no shopping of any kind” year, but a year where I abstained from sport shopping or purchasing anything not absolutely necessary. I was successful at this for a couple of months, too.
But, as you can see from the pictures, the closet is again out of control and (see the Macy’s bag and shoe boxes) the resolution is off the rails. Considering I don’t have any income, the resolution should be a critical focus, but I’m really mad at myself about both failures. (wallowing in MoooM)
Give Slack Unto Yourself as You Would Give Slack Unto Others
Then I started to think about all this negative self-talk (see 1st paragraph of this post). When I listen to a friend as she shares her MoooM challenge, I try to help them see things from a different perspective. One of the things I ask them to do is to reframe what she’s saying. I ask her to imagine that I’m telling her the story. I’m the one having that MoooM crisis. What would she say to me? “Lynnelle, what the fuck is wrong with you!? Can you really be this much of a lazy slob??!”
No. No, she wouldn’t say that – nor, would you. Nor should I.
- Omission of occurrence or Performance
- Lack of success
- Falling short
I failed at the capsule wardrobe / organized closet effort a few weeks ago. I didn’t fail the month before, but I lacked success for a period of time after that; not forever. Failure to achieve success is specific to a point in time. To completely fail at an effort means you’re not going to try again. Divorce. That’s a failure at a specific marriage. I’ve had a couple of those, too. But, if I get married again (God help me.) I won’t be a failure at THAT marriage.
Failure is event specific; time specific. Failure is also a good teacher, if the student is ready. From my recent capsule wardrobe and closet failure, I’ve learned that I am probably one of those who should have semi-annual closet “events” as my goal and not a never-ending perfect capsule wardrobe hung in a perpetually organized closet.
So, Barb – friends… let’s agree to be kind to ourselves. Life is a work in progress, a journey – not a destination. We ebb and flow. Sometimes we end up in MoooM. We’ve all been there. And guess what. We’ll be there again. Yes. We. Will. When it happens, cut yourself some slack. At least be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend in the same situation.
And – can you believe it!! At THIS age we’re still so hard on ourselves! What the fuck!?